Boundaries is a tricky subject matter. I think some people have a natural propensity for strong boundaries in their lives and some people have to work harder to establish them. When I say boundaries, I am specifically talking about ones ability to establish specific limits and guidelines for certain relationships and activities.
I have a natural ability for well established boundaries. Many times friends and acquaintances have come to me seeking advice & recommendation on improving this area. I definitely don't say this to toot my own horn, but to share with you what I know about my successes and areas I still need to work on.
One of the reasons boundary discussion can be complicated is that there are so many facets; emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, relationships boundaries & time boundaries... just to name a few. I could write an entire blog post on each facet of boundaries. And maybe I will get to all the points eventually.
When you are a momma you are no longer just responsible for your own boundaries, but also for helping your kids learn healthy boundaries as well as helping set boundaries for your family as a whole. I think this realization helped me to understand that my ability to model healthy boundaries is paramount.
I have school age kiddos, so the boundary at our house that is the one we struggle with most is time. Protecting our precious family’s time is an increasing priority for me. In our world today, kids are scheduled and over-scheduled. We are just as guilty. Protecting time for my kids to just be kids is so important. Play outside, LEGO’s, play-doh, pretend & dress up... just be kids. I also want us to just be a family, go for walks, play board games have movie nights. Those things are important to our family. For us, that means graciously declining weeknight dinner plans and being very conscious of weekend plans. Friends are important, but our time with our kiddos at home is flying by at the speed of light.
Evaluating time and priorities is difficult. Sometimes that means telling my kids no. This happened recently. My oldest daughter wanted to join Girl Scouts. We had a tough conversation about time and priorities. She already does softball, tennis & piano lessons. Would Girl Scouts be great for her? Yes! Our current schedule doesn’t allow for it. This opens the door for meaningful talks about grown up decisions. Talking about desires, passions and reality of responsibilities make for a strong parent child relationship. She is 9 and interacting this way with her allows her to take ownership of her time and for her to believe that she’s involved in making these decisions, and she is. This is a positive lesson that will (hopefully) impact her ability to make responsible decisions in the future about time management.
My kiddos posing for a picture while playing in the sprinklers. #childhood
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