Motherhood

Motherhood has the unique ability to expose our deepest weaknesses as well as highlight personal substance you never knew was there. In the trenches of the days of no sleep, spit up covered shirts and endless dirty diapers you discover the deepest part of who you are.

One thing I have learned in the last almost 10 years of motherhood, is that knowing who I am is vital to my success. As Americans, I see great fear in understanding one’s own weaknesses. I know the opposite to be true. I see strength in your own full self discovery. We see women that look a certain way and are wearing certain things and we think that we have to imitate that to establish our identity. I see women everyday who are stretched to the brink, trying to do it all. As mothers, it’s important to relay to our children that weaknesses are a part of who we are, we are not defined by those rather we are defined by our strengths. When we truly know who we are, we can feel more comfortable making choices to highlight those strengths.

I also feel that it is important to know your weaknesses to allow yourself growth opportunities. Putting yourself in situations that challenge you is important, but I think it’s emotionally beneficial to prepare for these situations to make growth and learning most effective.

There is great power in understanding yourself. It allows you to be in greater control of situations. Understanding your own stress levels, triggers, emotional ups and downs allows you to put yourself in the most optimal situation whenever possible. I found through interactions with other moms that trouble comes when they allow themselves to be put in a situation and lose control. Giving yourself the right to say no to situations that are “no-win’’ for you does not show weakness but shows mental fortitude. For myself, I say no to many situations that I know my children would enjoy, but would take me from a controlled version of myself to what I call “Monster Mom’’. A specific example is as follows, at my children’s school they do lots of evening events, fairs, festivals  & carnival type things. These are wonderful events and great fundraisers for the school. I have found that more often than not when you get 200 kids hyped up on sugar, running in the Georgia heat and parents half watching on the periphery that chaos ensues. The timing of these events often coincides to my husband's work travel. So this would mean that I’d be handling this event solo with three kids. I am fully aware of my limits and my triggers. This is the kind of situation I steer clear of because it ends up making me miserable and in turn I become ‘Monster Mom’. Do I feel badly that my kids don’t go to these fun activities? YES, but the reality is, it’s okay to say NO, and it’s okay for your kids to miss something. You can not do everything.

I encourage you to take a self inventory. What kind of activities and social outings rev you up and energize you? What kind of opportunities make you break out in a cold sweat. When you know you, you can be a better mother to them.